Recently read a wonderful book – Emotional Equations by Chip Conley

Book is really insightful and helps you distill your thoughts and understand your emotions

Putting down all Emotional equations which I learned here.

1. Emotions = Life
2. Serenity = Sigma Constant + Sigma Variable
3. Self Esteem = Success / Pretensions
4. Depression = Unexpressed Anger ( bottling up of emotions)
5. Event + Reaction = Outcome ( you are product of your decisions, not your outcome)
6. Optimism – Joy = Anticipation
7. Despair = Suffering – Meaning ( How who has a why can bear almost any how)
8. Regret = Disappointment + Responsibility (Regret results from the actions we could have taken and also actions we took.. Regret lacks immediacy and tends to come from reflection or after some insight that comes from time)
9. Happiness = Wanting what you Have / Having what you want
10. Happiness = Practicing Gratitude / Pursuing Gratification
11. Suffering = Pain * Resistance
12. Disappointment = Expectation – Reality
13. Remorse = Regret + Guilt
14. Jealousy = Mistrust / Self-Esteem. Fear of Loss
15. Envy = (Pride + Vanity) / Kindness.. Wish for a gain
16. Anxiety = Uncertainty * Powerlessness
17. Calling = Pleasure / Pain = Want-tos / have-tos
18. Workaholism = What are you running from? / What are you living for?
19. Flow = Skill / Challenge where Skill should match challenge
20. Curiosity = Wonder + Awe
21. Authenticity = Self Awareness * Courage
22. Narcissim = (Self-Esteem)^2 * Entitlement
23. Integrity = Authenticity * Invisibility * Reliability
24. Joy = Love – Fear
25. Innovation = Creativity – Cynicism
26. Thriving = Frequency of Positive / Frequency of Negative >=3
27. Anxiety = Fear + Rumination
28. Faith = Belief/ Intellect
29. Curiosity + Faith = Peace
30. Wisdom = Squareroot (Experience)

a. It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. So always on quest for what is life asking you right now?

b. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed

c. We probably can do more to affect the quality of our lives by controlling our expectations than by doing virtually anything else

d. Frustration can serve as a temporary bridge to a better outcome

e. Frustration moves forward. Disappointment retreats

f. My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything after that has been a bonus

g. Anticipated regret will make decisions harder to make, and post decision regret makes them harder to enjoy

h. Seizing the moment is the antidote to the fact that we are so heavily influenced by the immediate sting of regrettable action that we favour inaction over action without calculating the long-term toll of this choice.

i. The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself when anxiety has taken us hostage.

j. To reduce anxiety remember that whatever you do – do with love.. Don’t be worried about the outcome and what you can control and cannot control

k. To reduce anxiety create a “worry period” and indulge in worry as much as you want to during this time.

l. Pleasure for its own sake grows old quickly, but when it is a by-product of doing something that fulfills you, pleasure is divine indeed.

m. Work is love made visible.

n. Flow is a highly focused state of relaxed concentration that obliterates all else out of consciousness. State of flow involves a loss of self-consciousness (loose consciousness of oneself)

o. The more I challenge myself, the better I become.

p. Mastery isn’t a destination, it is a way of living

q. Albert Einstein said – I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious.

r. Curiosity is the engine of growth. Curiosity requires you to admit that you don’t know what you don’t know. Curiosity fuels creativity

s. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

t. Where you come from (your roots) will help you know who you are (authenticity) and where you are going (your calling)

u. Living a fulfilled life is living an authentic life.

v. Courage can be broken down into 4 subcategories – bravery, perseverance, honesty, zest.

w. Ask yourself this – Who do I need to be – not what I need to do – to represent my authentic self in the world?

x. Guilt is when you feel you did something wrong, Shame is when you feel you are wrong to the core.

y. When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.

z. It is never too late to what you might have been.

a. Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Beware of chasing happiness, happiness ensues so be careful of pursuing.

b. I developed a habit of love. We don’t grow by just loving the people who are good to us. We grow by learning to love those who are less lovable, those who are pumped with fear in their lives.

c. The most significant difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is solid and joy is liquid.

d. When we have about three times as many positive emotions or influences in our lives as the negative ones, a domino or cascading effect starts to emerge that leads to what we call a “momentum of victory”

e. Faith mines thew wisdom of the heart. Intellect taps into the reason of the mind. Belief is the intersection where heart and mind meets.

f. Joy comes from wanting others to be happy and all suffering in this world comes from wanting only oneself to be happy.

g. Wisdom is fundamentally a subtractive virtue, not an additive one. Wise men filter insights when others get lost in piles and piles of knowledge.

h. Wisdom is all about distilling down complexity of life with all its distractions to what is at its core.

i. Serenity prayer – God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

k. Experience fuels wisdom, and insight is what allows your wisdom to create a quantum leap on occasion.

l. The magic of life is not in computing more but in learning to make sense with less.